I searched high and low today for little brown envelopes, for the Scandi style Advent Calendar I had in mind. Of course I left it to the last minute, of course I didn't order an Elf on the Shelf online in time for him to arrive tomorrow, of course my house isn't Pinterest-perfect and Christmas-ified in time for December 1st and the first day of advent.
But then, in the words of Ann Voskamp... what if I hushed the hurry and found the holy? What if I pared back the expectation of what this perfect life should look like, and let that stripping away reveal my heart.
The heart that wants to find the holy and the sacred in this season. That I would allow advent not to add to the busy and the must-dos but would point to the I Am, and the He Is.
I ran out to the shed in the dark tonight. Braving cobwebs and rummaging until I found the box I was searching for. I pulled out the quilted advent calendar we've used for 5 years. I wrote a love letter to the three children who will wake to find it hanging by the mantle - those three who won't care that it's colours don't match, or that it's not what the cool kids are using. The three who will be thrilled to find it there, with Ann's book and a note in the first little pocket, happy advent my babes... let's remember Jesus in all the fun we have in the next 24 days... let's remember that it's not about us... let's let the Christmas Spirit fill up our hearts so they overflow all year long.
So, instead of making pretty and perfect, I'm preparing a place in my heart. Preparing the way for those little hearts to welcome Him in this Christmas season. Without comparison, without hustle.
Happy Advent eve.