I'm always talking to myself.
You probably are too, if you listen carefully enough.
The Psalmist told himself to think upwards.
Oh my soul [mind, will, emotions] bless.
All that is deep on the inside of me bless.
Bless God. Bless others. Lift up.
I was washing the dishes tonight, and as I dunked them into soapy water and pulled them out again clean I was suddenly aware of my internal dialogue.
I was telling myself it's okay.
I was telling myself how to give more grace, be more flexible, love without expectation.
And it caught me by surprise - not because of the internal dialogue itself, but how much it has changed.
A few years ago it was less kind. Had less grace. Was selfish.
I used to dwell on the hurts I'd felt or the ways in which I'd been wronged.
But what we tell ourselves is important.
Negative tries to settle over my thoughts like a thick layer of dust. Giving my soul a good talking to shakes it off. Makes room for His thoughts.
It begins the minute I am roused from sleep, and I start to see daylight from this side of my eyelids. Sounds muffle through my half-dreamy state and as I slowly wake, so do the thoughts.
Barely awake, and the fight begins. Oh my soul you WILL bless. Yawning and sleepy still, checking the time and cursing the morning. Oh, my soul. BLESS.
"The real problem of the Christian life comes… the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists in shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in."*
That stronger, quieter life comes when I tell my soul to just hush.