It's that time of year again.
Semester has started, and I am feeling the stretch.
The uncomfortable, brink-of-overwhelm stretch.
Every year I add a little bit more to my load, and every year I second-guess the decision that I'd made the year before.
I begin to doubt whether I can carry the load, doubt whether I've chosen the right thing, doubt my ability, doubt my intelligence - basically doubt anything there is floating around my mind that can possibly be doubted!
The difference is that this year I've recognised the pattern.
Oh hey doubt. You were here last year. You're not going to last long.
I know that the beginning of semester is overwhelming. And now I also know how to knuckle down and do what needs to be done. That in 14 weeks it'll be done and dusted and I can reward myself with as many Greys Anatomy episodes as I want, ha!
For now though, the book of Proverbs has plenty of wise words:
Wisdom will multiply your days and add years to your life.
If you become wise, you will be the one to benefit.
If you scorn wisdom, you will be the one to suffer.*
So what's this wisdom that will multiply my days?
Good routine, less procrastination (read: social media), time spent planning, organisation.
When I am dedicated to doing what needs to be done, I rest easy at night knowing I've used my days wisely and they have essentially been multiplied. Those days when you feel like you've achieved a week's worth of work? I guarantee you, wisdom was involved.
Psalm 90:12 says we need to number our days, to gain a heart of wisdom - not to be frightened that our days are numbered, but to really truly make every day count.
"Wisdom will tell you when to pursue and conquer and when to simply stand your ground. It will clarify what is worth fighting for and what is not worth the fight. Wisdom is never rushed or forced into a corner. It is knowledge applied at the right time, in the right way with the right motive" - Claude Carrello
So that thing you feel like you can't do? Ask for and apply wisdom. See it from a different angle. Hold on for just a little bit longer. The doubt will fade and wisdom will come.
* Proverbs 9:11-12