Its the first of the month today, almost the middle of spring.
And although springtime brings a freshness and newness, and anticipation of the holidays, it can also feel like a hard slog.
It's the end of the year, and weariness has set in.
The high hopes we had at the beginning of the year for this to be the year, or the goals we'd set to lose the weight, make the change, take the holiday, grow the business, have a baby... maybe those things didn't eventuate the way we thought they would and disappointment is lurking.
When I wrote last week's post, I got my brave on. I shared the link on Facebook, I invited people to follow along. And when so many people did I wanted to simultaneously break out in dance, and bury my blushing and embarrassed head under a heavy blanket... and then those anti-writing voices hit even harder.
Once again, Elizabeth Gilbert's words broke down the walls of fear I was constructing.
"The image of the tragic artist who lays down his tools rather than fall short of his impeccable ideals holds no romance for me. I don't see this path as heroic. I think it's far more honourable to stay in the game - even if you're objectively failing at the game - than to excuse yourself from participation because of your delicate sensibilities."
So I knew I needed to get writing. Before I gave that bully in my head another chance to throw down more doubts. And I did what I usually do when I feel like I'm empty of inspiration, or anything of value to say. I quietened myself. I prayed.
And listening to to that Still Small Voice I heard the words try again.
I am, I said on the inside.
And the more I listened, the more I realised those words were not just for me.
They're to be shared. Because maybe one of you reading needs to hear them whispered.
Maybe you need some courage... because you quit, or you really really want to quit.
But I think there is a tribe with a flicker of hope, that needs to hear that they can finish what they started, or start what they dreamed long ago, or allow themselves to re-set goals.
Because maybe we failed or maybe we quit or maybe we've never been brave enough to start because it didn't work the last time - to you fellow hopers and dreamers I want to say this:
Just try again.
I'm in your corner, and I'm cheering you on, because regardless of how brave we don't feel, we can take brave steps anyway. We can stay in the game.
If I can keep trying, you can. And this month I'll lay it all bare.
Fears, failures, whatever it is that stops us from trying.
I'll write here every day. [Something I've actually always failed at.]
And I'm telling you this because whether or not I succeed or fail, I'd hope that it would at least inspire you to try.
There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish*
* Philippians 1:6