I've been a mama for over 8 years now.
For about 5 of those I was either pregnant, breastfeeding, or getting ready to get pregnant again. It was a whirlwind time.
Today, my baby turned four.
It saddens me sometimes, that so many milestones for us as a family are well and truly behind us.
Newborn scent, cots and nappies, and snuffly tiny baby noises.
Big siblings meeting brand new baby siblings.
The quiet in the early hours with just you and that tiny human you are nourishing with your body.
The neighbourly peeks into your pram at shopping centres and the gushing over tiny dark headed babes wrapped tight.
Now, this four year old delight is the baby of our family. And while it's easy to remember the good old days as just that, I know they were full of sleepless nights and ranting mamas and pure exhaustion. And I need to be thankful and present in the here and now.
She helps me to be right here.
With her still-squishy arms and her deliciously full lips that are always wanting kisses.
With her crazy humour and her earnest questions and her pouts when she wants what she wants to no avail.
She is cheeky, and wild; daring and soft.
And I feel like her birthday marks the end of an era in my motherhood journey.
Happy, sad and everything in between.